confessions and convictions

old blog gone for good

2011-06-11T21:23:00.000+08:00

forever lost in the sands of time.

哀

2010-10-12T05:21:00.001+08:00

一生中对于爱情友谊人生
我是否太过顽固信任天真
尝尽了段段心酸灰暗遗憾
如今已不敢期待只能感叹

philosophical

2010-03-01T13:35:00.003+08:00

奔于熊熊烈火，终归化为乌有。

若欲长相厮守，必似细水长流。

红色小盒子

2010-03-01T10:35:00.011+08:00

亲爱的嘉丽，

你昨晚在我家门前留下的红色小盒子，我已经打开来看过了。盒子里的每一件信物都意味着我们一起创造过的美好，但如今却都变成了心痛，心碎。那一堆堆的照片和戏票根仿佛将心里沉淀已久的石头都渐渐地燃烧了起来。想念你的这颗心变得好重，好痛。最后读到的那一封过了期的分手信更是令我不自禁地又为你落下了炽热的泪水，烫着我的脸。我们无意中又再一次让彼此感受到了无法忍受的痛楚，无与伦比的感伤，无可救药的心酸。这次的分离，不知又需熬过几个漫长的夜晚以泪洗面才可消减折腾。

回忆，美丽亦残忍。

希望，无暇但易碎。

幸福，渴盼却渺茫。

爱情，伟大又盲目。

“你永远都会是我一生中最爱的人。宝贝，我爱你。”

在今天之前，我无时无刻都会向你深情地重复这句话好几遍。今日以后，我也只能对着脑海里你那扣人心玄的脸孔轻声叹息着我们的如果，也许，可能，是否。

黯然中回想往事到如今，最令人遗憾的是在这一起携手走过的五年里，我们因为个人的理由而迷失了方向，还逐渐地忘记了怎么去彼此沟通，爱护，容忍，信任，和依赖，导致我们的关系在防不胜防中受到了这致命的一击。不在一起的理由有很多，而在一起的理由只有一个--那就是爱。虽然事实不断地逼着我接受并且承认我们的爱始终还是不够坚强，但我也不肯否定就是同样的这份爱带给了我们彼此生命中最大的快乐，最多的喜悦。能够和你走过这段岁月，经过许多风风雨雨，不论多忐忑，都足以教我无悔这一生。或许人一辈子当中能享有的幸福就是有限，而我们现在已经超过了透支额。如果真是这样，那我这永不变心的爱必定能让我们来世再续缘，只愿在那时候有机会偿还你应有的幸福和快乐。又或许是天意弄人，植入这场误会把我们暂时分开而已。希望是吧。不管怎样，我还是祝愿你从今以后在没有我的日子当中过得更开心，笑得更灿烂，活得更精彩。

永远，永远爱你的健锋。

二零一零年二月二十八日

when i was young

2010-02-04T12:31:00.004+08:00

when i was much younger, i used to think the whole world was against me, and so i went about behaving with a siege mentality - always competing against everyone, going against convention, acting rebellious towards my family and what few friends i used to have. i was locked up in my little mental fortress - keeping myself in, and others out. little did i know that this protective shell, long since discarded, would have kept alive some sliver of my sanity, my dreams, my soul..

for a long time, i alienated myself from the world which i kept thinking was out to do me in. mum was always busy working, and dad had left us since i was 2. from the age of 8, i started learning to be independent and did everything by myself as much as i could. i travelled to school and back home on my own; i washed my own clothes; i cooked my own meals; heck, i even wrote letters to cover my frequent absenteeism and signed on consent forms for school trips and what-nots on my mum's behalf, without her knowing, most of the time. looking back, i now wonder why my teachers never raised any suspicions - were they incurably ignorant or morally magnanimous?

in school, i was rude to everyone. i enjoyed cracking mean jokes about people. everyone in school had a nickname, and i would laugh myself to tears when i saw the disgusted and embarrassed looks on their faces as they walked past and got ridiculed by me in front of everyone else, whom i might add, always thought i had a wicked sense of humour, as long as they weren't the ones suffering. i guess that's how i learned the meaning of hypocrisy.

at home, i would lock myself up in the room, reading books - comics, novels, encyclopaedia, history books, dictionaries, the bible - basically, whatever i could get my hands on. i did well in school in those early years, regularly achieving 1st or 2nd in my class, which was also the best class in school. i remember i was always competing against this other boy named bernard or something for that 1st-in-class spot. anyway, i got into the top stream in the education system at that time and was invited to join the gifted education programme, but for reasons that escape my mind now, i failed to attend the selection test. i guess, on top of being rated in the report cards as a "truly gifted child with vast innate potential", it was my dark disposition coupled with my family background that gained me sympathy points, because i won the envy of my peers for being every teacher's pet student.

after my 11th birthday, i experienced a major twist of fate. the awfullest thing that could ever befall a boy happened to me - i was approaching the peak of puberty. although i had read about it quite a lot in my books, nothing could have prepared me sufficiently for this wildly confusing and awkward phase in my life. there was also this other significant event in the history of the world that would change the course of my life from that point on - the arrival of the internet era. now, instead of books, i could turn to the fountain of knowledge which was the web to quench my thirst for knowledge and, possibly, the truth about life. my pc was a prehistoric, handed-down 486 running on dos, and i remember installing windows 3.x using floppy disks. back in those days, you could tell if your software was corrupted by looking to see if the disks used to store them had any mould growing out of the circular hole in the middle.

as i discovered, i had quite a talent for computer programming, constantly trying out new coding with QBASIC, VBASIC and other ancient developing platforms, and it was through developing scripts in mIRC, a virtual chatroom network, which captured my interest most. i honed my skills with a religious fervour, even skipping school several days in a row just to perfect the coding for an mp3-player-cum-filesharing-bot or a compendium of trivia games, much like hangman, where people in the same chatroom could play at once. i found a great sense of satisfaction and achievement each time i received praise for my work, and criticism had an effect of spurring me on to do more, and to be better than my comparison other. i must also concede that i was very comfortable with the concept and workings of the virtual community, which i do think is a surprisingly ironic antisocial form of society. i was slowly but surely spiralling down, losing myself to this blackhole.

in school, my attendance had slipped to below 40%, and my mum was less than pleased with the growing frequency of those 'meet-the-parent' sessions regarding my truancy. however, in truth, my grades were still top of the class, and i was still 'teacher's pet', as long as i was physically present. i gradually stopped talking to my friends, whose past-times included playing 'catching' and ping-pong during recess, trenching through gutters to catch spiders and playing 'war plane' card games after school. didn't these fools realise that the world would just pass them by if they didn't spend their time more productively? in retrospect, i was a fool for trading what remained of my childhood with useless, outdated computer skills that, if included in my resume now, would look like a run-down rickshaw in a lamborghini showroom - an utterly redundant eyesore. as epic as it was to the rest of the world, the advancement of technology was too rapid for a one-man show like me, and my ambition of being a world-class computer programmer was left drowning in its wake.

then along came a new form teacher - this angelic being, whose grace and beauty transcended all boundaries, would have brought peace to the most troubled of minds, and whose unflinching virtues of patience and perserverance would have turned charcoal into diamonds. being brought up in a catholic school hadn't convinced me that there was a god, or heaven, or hell, but she was living proof that, either there were angels on earth, or my raging hormones had completely eradicated all rationality in me. rejuvenated by this new-found motivation to go to school, i began to find myself developing a brighter disposition. attributes like 'sulky' and 'bully' were soon replaced by 'quirky' and 'friendly'. in essence, i started to behave like a typical pre-teen for the first time in my life. i hung out with everyone; i played 'catching' and football (at times, simultaneously, making it more like rugby) in the rain, getting thoroughly soaked and laughing our heads off at the silliest remarks; i trekked mini-forests, looking for the fiercest fighting spiders and receiving nasty cuts and bruises for my efforts; i went to friends' homes to break their high-scores for 'golden axe' and 'sonic the hedgehog' on sega megadrives - as far as i can recall, those were, and probably will be, the most fun and carefree times in my life. like all fools in despair, i wish i could turn back time and stop the clock there.

from then on, my defences against the harshness of reality had been breached. i saw things in a more positive light. optimism and faith entwined to paint, with the colours of kindness, compassion and generosity, a pretty portrait of humanity as perceived in my mind; through the years, i have gradually come to realise that there is no delusion more dangerous and more suicidal than this to conceive, and having left myself so vulnerable to uncountable, immeasurable manifestations of hurt, deceit and exploitation, i am now left with a hopeless heart, mangled mind, battered body and savaged soul.. a man exposed to the cold, stinging winds of destiny, devoid of confidence and esteem in himself, and of those around him, seeking nothing more than a swift liberation from the cruelty that is his life.

jaded and disparaged as i may feel, to rid myself of guilt before the bitter end, i am adamant in pulling myself together to complete my final mission of gratitude, which entails clearing of debts, returning of favours and fulfilling of promises.. but i'm so tired, and with each sigh escapes a little more of the energy and will to think, to do, to be..

jinxed

2010-02-04T03:57:00.001+08:00

am i?

- posted from my iPhone

little crumbs of heaven

2009-12-16T20:49:00.000+08:00

- posted from my iPhone

swensen's breadbowl soup

2009-11-25T11:22:00.001+08:00

- posted from my iPhone

hero for a day

2009-11-15T04:55:00.005+08:00

It's not every day that you get to save a life. Tonight, i saved two. Here's a recount of an eventful night.

After supper with Png at Bukit Batok, I was on the way to sending GB home via the PIE. As soon as we got on the highway, I saw a car tyre lying on the road shoulder to my left, and a lot of smoke further up ahead. I slowed down as I approached the accident scene, and saw a red Suzuki Swift with the front all smashed in and a silver truck parked beside it. I found it strange that a truck would be on the right-most lane of the highway.

As I got nearer, I could make out a silhouette of a woman lying on the steering wheel in the Swift, and saw that the engine was on fire. That was when I realised the seriousness of the situation, and felt that I had to help immediately.

I pulled up on the road shoulder, and a black Toyota Vios followed suit in front of me. Mr Vios got out of his car at the same time as I did, and announced to me, "I'm calling the police right now." I nodded and replied, "Good work", then turned towards the Swift. I saw the silver truck drive away from the Swift, and onto the road shoulder a good distance ahead of the Vios.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, there came a silver taxi speeding towards the Swift and couldn't manage to swerve away in time, consequently colliding into the rear of the Swift with great force and eventually bumped it a few metres forward. Now the Swift was lying diagonally across lanes 1 and 2, and I feared for the additional damage the woman might have suffered from that heavy impact. The silver taxi then headed over to the road shoulder, behind the silver truck.

As the flames from the Swift's engine began to grow more intense, I strode over and saw that the driver's door was ajar. A chinese woman in a white tank top and grey shorts sat with her legs out of the car. She was obviously in a daze as I went over to check on her. As I got her out of the car, Mr Vios jogged over and I delegated to him the task of helping the woman to safety away from the burning vehicle.

There was another person in the vehicle, an indian man in a black T-shirt and khaki shorts, who was sprawled face-down on the driver's seat, and his legs were bent at an awkward under the front passenger's seat. I hurried over to the passenger's side and tried to open the door, but it was jammed, so I exerted as much force as I could muster, and managed to pry the door open, feeling some metal parts bending, and damaging the hinges in the process. I then checked on the indian and he responded with weak moans of agony and muttering, "i die, i die.." He had abrasions on his legs and his face was a bloody mess, but at least he was still alive, I thought to myself. I applied pressure to his back and neck, thinking that if he had injured his spinal cord, he'd probably scream out in pain right now. Concluding that it would be alright to tug him out of the car without running the risk of causing further damage to him, I then attempted to lift him out of the car, but he was jammed in the small space between the seat and the bottom of the dashboard.

With his weight now leaning on me, I couldn't get at the underseat clutch to push the seat backwards, so I shouted out to GB for help, who was in the midst of a crowd of bystanders observing from across the highway. GB rushed over with a malay guy and they helped to support the indian while I slid the passenger seat back. GB and the malay guy grabbed the upper half of the man as I lifted his legs, at which point he repeatedly groaned, "Pain, pain!" I muttered under my breath, "Shut up.. You're lucky to be alive.." As we carried him across the highway, the smoke and the smell of burning rubber became more intense, half-choking me as my eyes started to tear.

Upon seeing her battered friend lying on the road shoulder, incessantly calling out "Mama.. Mama..", the female casualty hobbled over anxiously and threw herself on him, meekly calling out "dear, dear" in the process. It wasn't long before more bystanders started gathering around us, casting their opinions on their interpretations of how the accident began. I overheard someone saying that he was the taxi driver who had collided into the rear of the Swift, and he was profusely apologising and claiming that he didn't have enough time to react. He sounded sorry enough, so I didn't bother to direct any accusations towards him. I also found out from the truck driver, who in the beginning had stopped by the Swift, that he was looking to help the woman out, but panicked and drove away from the danger when he saw flames emerging from the engine. I eased his guilt by saying that it was a normal and justifiable reaction.

An ambulance arrived at the scene and tended to the injured couple, with one paramedic particularly frustrated by the woman's inability to cooperate - she was turning hysterical because her boyfriend was in bad shape and wasn't responding to her cries. Fire engines arrived after a while, and the fire-fighters only managed to put out the flames in the engine after about 20 minutes.

The police finally arrived about 45 minutes after the ambulance, and I was rather bemused to see the unceremonious manner of their arrival. A police officer on a motor-bike skidded and crashed as he approached the Swift and clutched his left arm while writhing in pain. This is lame and embarrassing, I thought. He was rushed onto a police car which promptly sped off to avoid further ridicule from the bystanders, who began passing crude remarks about police efficiency in general. The paramedics approached the girlfriend of Mr Vios for help, saying that she was the only female around, and that they needed someone to help strap the hysterical woman to her seat in the ambulance to prevent her from hindering them in administering first aid to her indian boyfriend, to which Ms Vios willingly obliged.

After a while the ambulance left, and traffic cones were set up to direct traffic away from the accident scene. A white Subaru WRX drove towards the scene a bit too quickly and incensed an aged police officer, who halted the WRX and dished out a proper telling-off to the driver. A female cop came over for eyewitness accounts, and all the other bystanders pointed to me, saying I was here earlier than them, and that I had been the one who rescued the couple of out the car. A few people came up to me with praise and thanks, which made me blush a bit. I gave my summary of events to the cop and was allowed to leave.

Along the way back, GB, too, commended me for being brave, and confessed that he was initially too afraid to approach the burning car because he thought it was about to explode. He asked me how I managed to find the courage to rush in to help those people, and I replied that it wasn't courage that motivated me - it was quite simply the fear of not being able to sleep in peace had I not got those people out of there in time. I also reassured him that he had been brave in rushing over to help me with the indian man, and that he was a true hero for his involvement. We slapped high-fives when he alighted, and I drove home feeling satisfied with what I had done.

I was a hero for a day, or in this case, for a night, and it felt good. =)

broken mirror

2009-11-09T21:35:00.003+08:00

a relationship can sometimes be like a mirror,
better left broken than to get hurt piecing it back together,
knowing that the cracks will prevent you from seeing any clearer.

what a one-derful world

2009-11-06T18:56:00.001+08:00

I'm on the bus to school and happened to pass by some real estate development called One Commonwealth. How creative, given we've already got One George St, One Marina Boulevard, One Raffles Quay and One Whatever-Else. Why isn't there a One Kampong Bahru or One Syed Alwi? Imagine if they actually started a marketing campaign for One Tanah Merah.. I can already hear the jingle ringing in my head.. pffft. (in case you aren't old enough to get the joke, you might wanna try listening to the chorus of this old classic - Guantanamera on youtube or whatever - operative word here being 'TRY'..)

- posted from my iPhone

hr hoax

2009-11-05T16:09:00.001+08:00

I was called up for an interview after submitting my application for an advertised position of HR officer. I ended up with an interviewer who was half an hour late and tried for an hour to convince me to be an insurance agent! wtf!?!? there was no HR post to begin with!!

i'm now on the train home in my newly-bought shirt and tie that cost half of whatever was left in my bank account.. and to think i took half day leave for this!

update: me and my new shirt are, well, totally drenched from the downpour, and the shirt, which hasn't been washed since I bought it yesterday, is making me feel itchy all over. it's fml all over again.

- posted from my iPhone

aurora borealis

2009-10-24T05:37:00.001+08:00

i have to go see the northern lights before i die, hopefully during a geomagnetic storm or a coronal mass ejection, when they're at their most intense and spectacular. go google.

- posted from my iPhone

mcdonalds monopoly

2009-10-23T13:16:00.001+08:00

i got marina bay!! whoever has sentosa cove m132, email me and we share the winnings!! $25,000 each!!

- posted from my iPhone

conscientiousness

2009-10-21T23:35:00.001+08:00

fact:
punctual != productive
BUT
impunctual = unproductive

case study:
they're usually early, but do nothing besides the bare minimum to remain employed. they get better appraisals and
higher bonuses.

i'm usually late for work, but i my work rate and contributions are greater than others, plus i leave the office much later than the others. i lost my job.

conclusion:
find a job that starts late, or find motivation to wake up early.

- posted from my iPhone

mistaken identity

2009-10-03T21:43:00.001+08:00

bloody brainless loansharks didn't even bother to check if they had the right address. infuriating!

the police told us that the town council would be responsible for cleaning up but it's still darn embarrassing, having to put up with it over the weekend. what's with my luck these days.. fuck..

- posted from my iPhone

prawning

2009-10-03T21:39:00.000+08:00

prawning@bishan

insomnia

2009-10-01T05:00:00.002+08:00

i'm quite certain I've landed a great job that'll pay me at least 50% more than my last one, and also provide amazing prospects for learning, exposure and advancement, but they'll only hire me in Jan next year - assuming that I do get the job at all.

so I got a temp job to fill up the overwhelmingly boring spare time I had on my hands..I guess it's a great way to get some money for the festive year-end celebratory parties too.

only problem is, the new workplace is 2 floors down my old office. imagine the awkwardness when I bump into my old colleagues. sigh.. shouldn't have left citi on such a bad note..

and I've been keeping really late nights for the past 2 weeks. it's almost 5 in the morning now and I still haven't got any sleep. having woken up late in the afternoon earlier today is gonna be scant consolation once I make it to midday later on.. and I've still got a lecture on psychology to attend after work.. dreadfully long terms with dreadfully longer definitions.. yawn..

and i don't really like it that my blog has started turning into a personal fmylife.com. what else can I say but c'est la vie..

- posted from my iPhone

update: fmylife. i missed out on the job. "..after due consideration, management has decided to opt for a more experienced candidate to fill the position.."

agyness - absolutely mesmerising

2009-09-22T03:39:00.000+08:00

murphy's law

2009-08-31T17:03:00.009+08:00

murphy's law states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

and so my personal great depression continues, as i woke up late again today and didn't go to work. when i checked my phone, i saw that my boss had called a couple of times and also sent an SMS that gave me an ominous feeling of impending termination. truth is, i've been riding my luck a lot lately, and this time i think i took it too far, so i did the only decent thing i could do - i apologised a thousand times, then told him i'd tender my resignation letter first thing tomorrow morning. i'm already starting to feel the awkwardness and embarrassment of having to serve out the one month's notice - it really sucks.

to add on to that, i just got bailed out from the traffic police station by my mum after a ton of paperwork, mugshot-taking and 2 hours in lock-up, all because i failed to pay a speeding fine. now they've doubled the fine and are taking me to court in a month's time. i swear i remember paying the fine - it was my very first traffic offence, and it was quite a hefty amount as well, but when i checked my bank transaction history, there was no trace of that amount being debited. i guess it got declined or something. tough luck, huh. i must have really offended the gods of fate.

somebody kill me

2009-08-07T21:11:00.012+08:00

imagine coming home from over-time work on the eve of a long weekend, thinking of how everyone else might enjoy this festive friday and saturday and sunday, while you have to stay rooted at home and struggle to revise for 2 examinations that you just flunked last month. your sister gives you an earful for accumulating too many traffic fines in a month yet again ($350), and you remember that you have less than $10 in both your bank accounts combined until the next pay day, which is about a month from now.

while facing all these issues, an urge to smoke arises, and that's when you're reminded that you ran out of cigarettes about 8 hours ago. you splash out your pathetic piggy bank of coins, all in denominations of 20c, 10c and 5c, and in depressing fashion, count out a few $1 mounds with one index finger. you find that you have just enough for 1 packet of those money-burning cancer sticks, and so you think 'damn, that's the first positive thing that happened to me today'!

as you walk to your living room to hand your maid the coins and the unenviable task of buying the cigarettes with them, you notice a pile of letters. you flip through the stack, and find that, addressed to you, there is a government letter, as well as an envelope with the name of a law firm printed on the front. you languidly open both envelopes, wondering what the chances are of the government dishing out some more tax rebates, and of you inheriting a sizable fortune from some relative you've never met, but very quickly these thoughts are killed off. upon reading those letters (they're letters of monetary demand), you find yourself with a new debt of approximately $10,000, and the sick realization that the deadline attached to both bills is 14 days from the previous monday. all this, on top of the existing $8,000 you're currently paying off by monthly installment.

while your mind is hovering between the plausibilities of declaring bankruptcy and robbing a bank, your eyes cast their sullen gaze upon an insurance policy approval. the next few moments are spent on ways to die without making it look like suicide so that the insurance company pays out the money.

you feel like a piece of toy that rolled into a forgotten corner under a wardrobe - broken, lost and lonely, as you make your way back to your tiny, messy bedroom. you habitually go on to power up the computer, then sink yourself into the leather armchair, close your eyes, then take a deep drag on the cigarette that your maid had just delivered to you before you entered the room. you think of how you managed to let it all spiral to this eventuality, and of how you could have prevented it by acting on things the moment you realized they were important. now, 'important' has transformed into 'urgent', and desperation looms large upon the horizon of your mental state. woe and despair is procrastination prolonged.

you want to escape somewhere, anywhere, as long as it's away from these problems, but you can no longer ignore their existence, now that they're collectively breathing down your neck. your mood is somewhere between crest-fallen and suicidal, plus you're starting to feel angsty and restless. you have no appetite for the bowl of noodles on your table. you reach past it for the cup of tea. your mind spaces out, and you start feeling very weary, almost sedated, by the lull of the electric fan and the warm tingle of hot tea down your gullet. you lean forward a little, just enough to reach the keyboard, and begin to blog about, possibly, the beginning moments of the worst period of your life. and so, this is an instance of a post blogged within the early stages of your personal great depression.

flu mask

2009-08-04T22:40:00.004+08:00

i was on the train to work today, when i noticed a middle-aged woman wearing a surgical mask, presumably to protect herself from the recent pandemic of h1n1. i instinctively looked around to see if there were more like her, but found none.

i caught a glimpse of more than a few sexy cleavages on the train's reflective glass windows, but didn't allow glance to turn into stare - mostly for fear of feeling like a pervert (although i would unabashedly admit that i have done my share of ogling and sometimes sneaky-peeking), and the fact that an erection on public commute during rush hour would be, hmm, mildly embarrassing - to say the least.

anyway, a thought ran through my mind next - was that lady protecting herself from the people around, or protecting the people from whatever flu or illness she was walking around with? another question then popped into my mind: how would it be if an HIV-carrier wore a condom and thought it safe to have casual sex? it took me precisely 0.000003 milliseconds to dismiss the notion that she was protecting others from herself - which meant that she must've been afraid of catching something from the people around her, me included - and that was enough for me to feel slightly indignant.

now, you might ask, what did all these random thoughts lead to?
i proudly conclude: abso-fuckin-lutely nothing, besides an excuse to revive my blog. =)

sigh

2009-06-28T16:14:00.000+08:00

need i say more?

UOL BSc Business (Hons)

2009-04-28T14:13:00.002+08:00

i recently received my acceptance package from SIM, and just today, i logged on to the student portal to have a look at the notes for the econs and maths bridging courses. the last time i ever touched a textbook or lecture notes was.. hmm.. 4-5 years ago? and i swear i almost cried when i couldn't get past page 2 of the maths equations and explanations.. i feel so dumb and useless!! and the exams are only a month away!! ARGH!

paradigm shift

2009-03-29T15:43:00.002+08:00

boldly present the worst in you, and pull no punches doing it -
if you're accepted, offer your very best without reservation;
otherwise, deem them unworthy and cast them into oblivion.

thailand video clips

2009-03-27T19:11:00.007+08:00

this is a lame clip we shot during our effing boring 14-hour train ride from bangkok to chiangmai.

and this is tat diving into a waterfall.
(the stream near the end of the clip is NOT the waterfall.)

thailand 2009 comics

2009-03-27T18:25:00.006+08:00

the photographic essences of our thailand trip.. enjoy..

hitler and football

2009-03-27T18:11:00.003+08:00

this one is about cristiano ronaldo leaving for real madrid.. watch to the end! hahaha!! i love the part about nani!

and this is on lampard joining inter.. and hitler's instructions to 'unfriend' him on facebook.. haha.. classic moment.

king of pop, sploosh, sizzle

2009-03-15T19:36:00.004+08:00

that would be the sound of his plastic nose getting waaaay too near the steamboat pot.

update: RIP moonwalker..

home sweet home

2009-03-14T15:24:00.005+08:00

i'm back, from the land of smiles, to the island with drinkable tap water. ~~thank god for that. wait. no. we should be thanking lky instead.~~ damn. see how religion and politics always make a mess of things?

anyway, still waiting for tat to burn the pics and vids into dvd, so you guys gotta be patient as well.

i wanna thank everyone involved for making it such a wonderful and enjoyable experience, especially zach and flora for graciously hosting us at their luxurious apartment; andy, joa, and jojo, for turning the clock back to those happiest of days back in nov/dec '08; and most importantly, tat, without whom i would probably have self-destructed on countless occasions. love all of you! muax!

thai trip update

2009-03-06T23:31:00.005+08:00

i'm blogging from a guesthouse in mae salong, a rural village northeast of chiangrai, and over 1200m from sea level. before this, we were in chiangmai, which took us 14 hours to get to, by train, from bangkok. we're heading off to the south in a couple of days' time for the full moon party in koh phangan, after which we'll be going back to bangkok for a second visit to zach and flora's wonderful apartment, before finally heading home on friday night.

i know i promised pics and vids galore, but the connection here isn't as fantastic as i thought, and it's a bit too troublesome to resize all the pics in the cam with the pc provided by the guesthouses, so here's a sneak preview:

2009-02-21T20:19:00.000+08:00

thailand trip details

2009-02-15T21:24:00.006+08:00

SIN departure:
26 feb 09 - 1810 hrs
BKK arrival:
26 feb 09 - 2035 hrs

BKK departure:
13 mar 09 - 2115 hrs
SIN arrival:
14 mar 09 - 0030 hrs

me and my buddy, tat, are going on a 15-day backpacking counter-clockwise trip around thailand.

we'll touchdown in bkk to meet up with my PTB buddies during the first weekend, then proceed to spiral around the central region for a few days, making sure to visit every cam-worthy site of attraction, e.g. ancient ruins and other places of interest, be it in historical or entertainment sense. (i'm counting on you, PTBs, to show me a good time.. hehe..)

we then plan to move out towards the eastern and north-eastern regions, trek through stretches of dense forestation and rough terrain, as well as pay a visit to the khorat plateau - the least-visited lands in the country, before hiking off to chiang mai to top up our supplies and commence the second half of our expedition. (oh, how i wish i never saw 'cannibal holocaust'..)

from the north, we'll take a south-bound train ride and catch some rest before we hit the party-hardy and, also, more recently, restive south, diving into the rich indulgences being offered in phuket, hatyai, and most significantly, at the full moon party on koh pha ngan. (i'm betting on a 'time-of-our-lives experience' here..)

after all the partying and exploring, we should then head back up to bangkok for last-minute shopping and other miscellaneous activities before heading home to singapore. (home sweet home!)

we'll be doing a travelogue here (pics and vids galore!), so mark those dates and keep your RSS feeds and refresh buttons busy!

puppy love

2009-02-15T21:14:00.007+08:00

jf says (8:25 PM):
i was looking at old pics and started thinking: you know puppy love?
jf says (8:25 PM):
i think i just understood why they call it puppy love.
jo trl says (8:25 PM):
why
jf says (8:25 PM):
because there’s no doggy involved.

my assumption might be discrepant, because in hindsight, if you allow puppy love to grow, then you should be getting doggy/doggied too, no?

luck = random

2009-02-15T21:06:00.004+08:00

png says (8:59 PM):
do u tink luck is random.
jf says (9:00 PM):
yes. i do think luck is random.
jf says (9:00 PM):
or perhaps there's no such thing as luck.
jf says (9:00 PM):
it's only a word people use to describe, or more often, to blame on, random events.
jf says (9:01 PM):
it's like, anyone could be hit by a falling object. that's random.
jf says (9:01 PM):
but we describe it as lucky, or in this case, unlucky.
jf says (9:01 PM):
anyone who buys a lottery ticket has an equal chance of striking it.
jf says (9:01 PM):
random odds. but we term it lucky, or unlucky, depending on outcome.
jf says (9:01 PM):
luck = random.
png says (9:01 PM):
but random>luck. rite?
jf says (9:01 PM):
yeah. random means more than luck. but luck itself is random.
jf says (9:02 PM):
like picking a book from a library. that's random. not about luck.
jf says (9:02 PM):
but if the book has a significant impact on your life, then you can call it luck.
jf says (9:03 PM):
if it's a life-changing story, or an inspiring tale that improved the way you lived your life, then you might say it's lucky you picked that book out of so many.
png says (9:03 PM):
so the more random u are, the more chances the mind thinks it gets lucky?
jf says (9:03 PM):
nah. depends on circumstances.
jf says (9:03 PM):
if the random event is significant in a good way, you'll probably feel lucky. and vice versa.
png says (9:05 PM):
im random here.

patrick hughes - signs

2009-02-14T01:00:00.002+08:00

kudos to joanne, for introducing this short film that made me feel all warm and tingly inside.. =)

a gun is not for self-protection - or is it?

2009-02-12T23:21:00.004+08:00

zy says (11:08 PM):
u go hatyai n krabi be careful
zy says (11:09 PM):
there not as safe
jf says (11:09 PM):
yeah i heard it's complicated there.
zy says (11:09 PM):
yah lor
zy says (11:10 PM):
basically southern areas la, songkla province all that
jf says (11:10 PM):
phuket still alright?
zy says (11:10 PM):
muslims fighting for seperatist state, wanna merge w malaysia
zy says (11:10 PM):
yup phuket fine
jf says (11:10 PM):
lol.
zy says (11:10 PM):
the furthest north is hatyai already la, further up all pretty decent
jf says (11:11 PM):
south la.
jf says (11:11 PM):
not north.
zy says (11:11 PM):
n u see, thailand economy n all the rich n influential biz men mainly chinese
zy says (11:11 PM):
so they were targetting chinese to try to cause a collapse on the economy there
zy says (11:11 PM):
got drive by shootings all that la
jf says (11:12 PM):
terrible.
jf says (11:12 PM):
so i might get shot there.
zy says (11:16 PM):
go buy gun

jf says (11:12 PM):
coooool mannn.
zy says (11:16 PM):
protect urself
zy says (11:16 PM):
i think 6000 baht
jf says (11:16 PM):
lol.
jf says (11:17 PM):
what would a gun do to prevent people from shooting me?
jf says (11:17 PM):
all it does is allow me to shoot them back.
jf says (11:17 PM):
which i don't wanna do.
jf says (11:17 PM):
because it'll provoke even more people to shoot at me.
zy says (11:19 PM):
no
zy says (11:19 PM):
u play safe
zy says (11:19 PM):
when u see malay guy
zy says (11:19 PM):
on motorbike
zy says (11:19 PM):
shoot first!
jf says (11:20 PM):
lollll.. mr zy, i'm gonna paste this conversation on my blog.

day-dreaming

2009-01-14T14:37:00.007+08:00

i want to live freely without a single care in the world.
i want to visit every part of the planet and meet all kinds of people.
i want to ride around europe aimlessly on a black ducati 999.
i want to have a big glass house by a beach of golden sand.
i want to be reborn as a brazilian footballer and grow up in jamaica.

*yawn*

okay, okay.. i'm waking up to reality.. sigh.

brasil 2014

2009-01-13T15:43:00.009+08:00

on the day of my 30th birthday, i'll be in rio de janeiro, brazil, watching the world cup final between ~~spain and argentina~~ england and brazil, with over 100,000 other spectators in the maracanã. where will you be?

left 4 dead

2009-01-12T23:38:00.009+08:00

rainbow six meets resident evil = awesome game. enough said.

man utd 3 - 0 chelsea

2009-01-12T22:31:00.005+08:00

omg.. tonight i'm gonna have multiple wet dreams from all the euphoria..
one more title, and the toothless scouse shites shall bark no more!

business management lessons

2009-01-07T20:55:00.007+08:00

after spending slightly more than 2 months in a bank, i've decided that the prospect of building my career in the banking industry simply does not appeal to me. at all. in fact, i've decided to change my mind with regards to my academic pursuits - from the intially-planned b.sc. in banking & finance, to a b.sc. in business.

in more ways than i ever cared to consider prior to joining citi, choosing the latter as my next course of studies should align my educational path with my main career objective of running my own business, so it really does make more sense than me having to study banking & finance, especially when i don't see myself working for much longer in the industry.

having said that, though, i've always felt that being a businessman takes a lot more than just paper qualifications and theoretical knowledge, both of which are impertinent to running a business in the real world - or so i've heard from the handful of entrepreneurs i've come across. what you really need is vision, resilience, and really good networking skills. or lots and lots of money. preferably all of the above.

just for fun, i've included these 3 lessons for those of you carrying on the climb up the corporate ladder. enjoy! =P

lesson #1

a crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
a small rabbit noticed the crow and asked, "can i sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
the crow answered, "sure, why not."

so the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested.
all of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

moral of the story:
to be sitting around and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

lesson #2

a turkey was chatting with a bull. "i would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but i haven't got the energy."

"well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull, "they're packed with nutrients."

the turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. the next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. finally, after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

soon, though, the turkey was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

moral of the story:
bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

lesson #3

when the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be the boss.

the brain said, "i should be the boss because i control all of the body's responses and functions."

the feet said, "we should be the boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

the hands said, "we should be the boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

this went on with the heart, lungs and all the other body parts voicing out their reasons for being the boss.

finally, the asshole spoke up. all the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the boss. in protest, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered.

eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the boss, so the motion was passed. all the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat around and passed out the shit!

moral of the story:
you don't need brains to be a boss - any asshole will do.

business idea #1

2009-01-05T22:47:00.012+08:00

business idea #1:
street lamp advertising

lately, i've been pondering over the prospect of quitting my job and starting my own business. one random night, while cruising down a random road, randomly watching street lamps whisk past one by one, a random thought popped into my mind: why aren't there any advertisements on these poles?

i'm not talking about pasting flyers with pathetic little cut-out strips of contact numbers promoting tuition classes or room vacancies - i'm thinking corporate advertisements, like those JC Decaux poster boards we always see at the bus stops.

give it some thought: what if i could convince LTA (or whoever owns those lamps) to allow me the rights to affix and manage similar poster boards on the lamp posts? subsequently, what if i could convince the big guns (Apple, Pepsi, Nike, Sony, Nokia, Adidas, etc) to stick their ads on said boards? finally, what should i buy with my new-found millions? okay. back to the harshness of reality.

an established firm would probably outbid me for the tender, and they'd tweak it a bit and shamelessly market the idea as their own invention - internationally, no less. their rivals would then attempt to grab a slice of the deliciously lucrative pie i baked, by which time street lamp adverts would be a global phenomenon, and the market would become overly saturated and it becomes a run-of-the-mill aspect of commercial advertising. eventually i'd end up as a loser who can only helplessly sigh about what might have been, if only my daddy was filthy rich.

oh well. i guess i'd better stick to my current job. i believe, however, that one day, someone will make this happen, and it'll either be yours truly, the visionary entrepreneur, or it won't. whatever it is, you guys better remember where you saw it first.

ps: ad agencies out there, if you feel i have what it takes to be your marketing or creative director, please don't hesitate to let me know.. expected salary: $2mil p.a., negotiable. email: gregory.zheng@gmail.com

season's greetings

2008-12-24T19:15:00.004+08:00

season's greetings to one and all! here's wishing y'all a merry, merry christmas, and a very happy new year!

pinched!

2008-12-20T20:22:00.011+08:00

to the motherfuckingsonofabitch who pinched 2 of my hundred-dollar bills, please know this:

i don't know who you are, yet, but believe me when i say i will fucking find out. once i do that, i will relentlessly hunt down the motherfucking weasel that you are.

when, not if, i eventually catch you, you will dread the day that you were born; you will curse your mother for bringing you into this world to experience such unimaginable pain and misery that i shall take immense pleasure and satisfaction in inflicting upon you.

you will look to the heavens begging for help, but there shall be no assistance rendered and no mercy bestowed upon bastards like you. you will know that you deserve it, and you will beg for forgiveness, but it shall not be granted, for it is neither warranted nor justified.

bear this in mind, you shit-fucking piece of scum: the sad, miserable existence you call life has effectively ended the minute your puny, low-life, bottom-dwelling arse crossed my path.

butter fucktory

2008-12-20T19:46:00.010+08:00

after last night, i now officially hate butter factory. it serves bad music and lousy cocktails; there's no room in the place to even reach for a scratch, let alone dance; the crowd is uninteresting, and has an annoying tendency to step on your feet (or maybe that had something to do with me wearing a man utd jersey?); they make you circumnavigate the building just for a smoke; gosh, the whining is ceaseless.

in a nutshell, butter fucktory plain sucks. which explains why we relocated to good old cosy vogue. ah.. vogue. i like vogue. =)

day 10

2008-12-20T16:44:00.017+08:00

08 Dec 2008 - 10 days after passing my driving test.

we were headed for prawning at punggol park after buffalo wings, fried mushrooms and fish & chips at jalan kayu. i took a wrong turn and got us lost. after a short while of driving through the drizzle, i found a way to put us back on the right track. approaching the stop-line, i wasn't sure if there was going to be a green right-turn arrow, so like a good motorist obeying traffic regulations, i gently brought the car to a halt.

i stared intently at the traffic light. bingo! green right-turn arrow. i checked for traffic. clear. pedestrians. clear. confident that there were no apparent hazards, i thought, 'okay, let's go'. so i moved off.

and then it happened.

like a streak of lightning, the headlights of an on-rushing vehicle blinded me. i instinctively jammed the brakes but it was far too late. muscles tensed and eyes tightly shut, i cringed and braced myself for the imminent collision.

SMASH!

the impact of the crash took me about 5 seconds to recover from the shock. in that 5 seconds, i went from a fearful 'argh!' to a dazed 'huh?' to a sinking revelation with 'uh-oh.' i checked my passengers for injuries - jo bruised her knees; jlo cut her lip. okay. not so bad. what about the other car?

as i got down, i cast a frown upon the damage and sensed my blood beginning to boil. i went over to confront the idiot who created the mess. rage was building up with each step i took towards the driver's side of the other car. i wanted to punch someone.

just as i made my way around the back of his vehicle, the driver stepped out. short. medium build. grey hair. t-shirt. shorts. slippers. specs. distressed look on aged face. looks at least 50 years old. fumbling with his handphone. hmm.. wait a sec. i can't punch him - he's too old! realising that i would be in a whole shitload of trouble with my mum when she finds out, i decided not to look for more trouble, and the violence subsided, but not the stern, cross-browed look i was wearing.

me: you okay? is anyone hurt?
him: sorry, sorry, sorry! yeah.. uh.. i'm okay. but my wife, she's hurt..
me: so you're calling for an ambulance?
him: no. no. i'm calling for the tow truck.. gimme a minute yeah.

i thought to myself, 'this bugger here says his wife is hurt, yet he's on the phone with the tow truck company? fuck. this just doesn't make sense.'

i went over to the passenger side of his car and saw his wife easing her way gingerly out of the car.

me: hey, you alright? heard you got hurt. you should sit back down.
her: no, no.. i want to stand.. my chest.. i think it's the seatbelt..
me: i'm calling an ambulance for you.
her: yes, yes.. thank you.. thank you very much..

i called for the ambulance and also the police, all the while staring, with utter dismay, at the twisted heap of metal and plastic that now made up the front of my car. the way his car crashed into mine, a mangled mess with smoky raindrops evaporating off the top, looked to me like warped robotic siamese twins. thoughts raced through my mind, 'shit. he could have killed me.' then it struck me, 'shit. mum's gonna kill me.' finally, i understood, 'shit. he SHOULD have killed me.' well, perhaps not. anyway, up to this point, the guy is STILL on the phone with his tow truck guy. what the fuck is that all about?

the ambulance arrived shortly and the lady was stretchered off. jlo received treatment for her cut lip, while jo helped to take photo evidence with her iphone. the old man, finally off the phone, was apologising remorsefully to his wife. i heard her asking, in cantonese, 'why didn't you see the red light?' fuck. i'm dying to hear him justify that, but he's just repeating, 'i'm so sorry.. it's my fault.. my fault..'

as the ambulance ferried the lady to the hospital, i surveyed the area and saw that a massive congestion had formed. cars, buses, vans, bikes, trucks - the 5 lanes were all jammed up because the vehicles were having a difficult time trying to negotiate paths around the blockage. and to add to the drama of the scene, it was still drizzling. what was meant to be a perfectly enjoyable evening turned out to be a real pain in the arse.

the 'highlight of the night', to quote jlo, came after the police arrived. we were ordered to move our vehicles to the side of the road, so that traffic normalcy could resume. my mum, who by this time had already arrived at the scene and was giving me an earful of why i shouldn't be driving without her guidance and supervision, snatched the car keys from me and went off to comply with the officers' instructions. the old man did likewise.

now here comes the highlight. there was no way for his vehicle to move forward, so in a bid to dislodge his car from mine, he reversed - right into the side of the police car! the police officers went all panicky and started pointing angry fingers and shouting 'STOP! STOP!' at the old man. i went over to check on the consequences of the fiasco. not so much as a scratch. just a slight bump. a mini-bump. a pimple. he might just get away with it. lucky bastard.

me: sure you're gonna let him carry on?
officer1: hmm.. *nods unconvincingly*
me: what? look at him! after smashing my car, he went for yours!
officer1: the thing is, we can't drive for him.
me: whatever. he's probably gonna run us down in the process.
officer1: *shakes head bemusedly*
me: he could be drunk.
officer1: i doubt it. no smell of alcohol.
me: what about cough syrup?
officer1: hmm..

eventually, both our cars were at the side of the road, with no addition to the injury count. we were interviewed separately. after recounting my side of the story, i sneakily crept near to where the officers were taking statements from the old man. i could vaguely hear the old man's apologetic admission to running the red light, followed by a verbal warning from the officers about the possible charges the old man would be facing.

then came a long pause wherein the old man started deliberating on his given statement. to my shock and horror, i heard him say, 'eh, i think i remembered wrongly. the light was green! i did nothing wrong, what!' fucking hell, i thought to myself, i ought to go over and smack him left-right-centre for wimping out on his conscience. i ought to, but i didn't.

now, because initially, we didn't look for independent witnesses, i.e. not a passenger in either vehicle, it had turned to a case of his-word-against-mine. after spending a moment considering the possible impact of the old man's gutless lie, i weighed up my chances and started thinking, 'this idiot reversed into the police car, wrote 10 digits instead of 8 when asked for his contact number, and gave totally polarised and contradicting statements. his credibility is surely out of the window by now. it's a sure-win for me.'

conclusion: nobody was seriously hurt. i won the case. he got charged. justice prevails. my mum doesn't trust me with the car anymore though, but less driving translates into more drinking. no loss there. fine! =)

ps: jo and jlo, i'm sorry for having put you girls through this ordeal. may your wounds, both physical and emotional, heal soon!

gala - let a boy cry

2008-12-17T23:52:00.000+08:00

drive

2008-11-28T17:06:00.002+08:00

i passed! =)

a week to remember

2008-11-23T15:01:00.005+08:00

as i gather my thoughts to pen this post, i fondly recap on this very atypical week gone by.

monday was monday - i can't say any more about it here.

on tuesday, i was on MC due to mild food poisoning. really.

i was brought to a thai disco called 'live impact' on wednesday, and i have to say that even though at first it looked a little dodgy, the fun turned out to be pretty clean and wholesome.

i was 2hrs late for work on thursday, and after knocking off slightly earlier than usual, i joined nd and jlo at harry's@orq, where i had my first experience drinking in one of the famed waterholes for bankers, brokers and traders in sg, and i must say i was rather impressed by some of the masquerades on show. at times, it was really obvious that people weren't saying what they actually felt about someone or something, and it was funny watching them practise little discretion in concealing their true thoughts. showboating and sarcasm was prevalent, and very soon, i found myself drifting into isolation and taking a observatory backseat in this theatre of hypocrisy. to put it mildly, it was interesting to watch how people act when they think no one's watching. it was also good to meet some of nd's and jlo's friends, who were polite and friendly people with no airs, unlike some of the other snobs around. i liked their what-you-see-is-what-you-get characters, and it was comforting to know that not everyone in the finance industry behaves like stuck-up assholes. i wonder if i'll be like that if when i become a high-flyer.

friday was a good day at work, as all fridays have been thus far, with low workload volume and a fantastic jap lunch with jo. predictably, after-hours were spent at vogue and the night ended with lor mee for supper at tb rise, and it was yummy.

saturday's driving lesson was confidence-boosting, and my instructor thinks i should be able to pass friday's test rather comfortably, provided i don't get impatient with the road conditions. i think so too. after the lesson, i had dinner with nd and jlo at this place off killiney road, called bar stop. good ambience, good food, good jazz, good wine - all in all, a good night made even better with good company. we adjourned to nd's for the arsenal match, but our host couldn't keep himself awake till half-time, so we didn't catch the villa-man utd game. i went back home to catch it, but dozed off halfway-through.

falling asleep during a man utd match was a sure sign that my mind and body desperately needed more rest, which is why today i won't be making any plans after my driving lesson later this evening. i need to recuperate, because for the next few days, my schedule will be packed with driving lessons everyday in preparation for my test on friday. no late nights or partying for the time being, but to all you readers, here's wishing you a great week ahead. it only comes round once you know, so whether it's been a good year or not, let's just ensure we enjoy ourselves and make the most of the last few weeks of 2008. cheers! =)

smile for me

2008-11-16T22:29:00.004+08:00

i went over to your place today to retrieve the rest of my personal belongings, and i didn't expect you to call me heartless or hurtful, because i thought it would help you to move on if i cleared those emotional triggers away for good. i'm disappointed and feel wrongly accused. of all the people in the world, you should know how much heart i have.

all my life, i've been trying my best to be a gentleman, a mr nice guy, and i've always taken great pride in the knowledge that i'm popularly considered a nice guy, an honest guy. yet i now find myself being perceived as a jerk, a bastard, a sadist for sticking by my principles. ironic? yes, but at least there's no contradiction. i'm sorry if i hurt you, but i'm not doing these things out of spite or revenge. i hope you will one day understand that i'm trying to preserve my credibility and integrity, to finally be able to look myself in the mirror without shame or contempt.

i know you're having a tough time trying to ride it out, but it isn't easy for me, either. it never has been easy. i thought that by telling you how happy i am, or how contented i am with the current status, maybe, perhaps, you might find some encouragement to really let go and move on, but it appears you're taking it as more salt on open wounds. the truth is, i've never regained even a sliver of joy or contentment since making my mind up about this, but at least i'm sparing myself from the hurt and disappointment that i know lies in wait to consume me, should i even begin to buckle under stress and consider altering my choice. that will never happen, and with my last drops of credibility, i guarantee it, even if i know there's a chance it could cost me true love and happiness for the rest of my life.

i sincerely hope you'll pick yourself up and get out of this rut soon, because the pain you feel is ten-fold on me from the knowledge that i'm inflicting it. i hate saying hurtful things to you, but to me, it's the only way to help you see how resolute i am in my decision, hoping that you will finally see i am looking for the best result for us both. it turns out that i'm not that someone who would walk life's journey with you all the way, but i would like to be that someone who managed to steer you back onto the right path. we all have our distractions and temptations in life; i think that life is not about choices, it's about living with the consequences of what we have chosen. the truth is, we are what we choose to be. so, respect my choice now, and although it touches me deeply to know that there's still someone out there who would fight desperately to continue to be with me, all i can say is thank you for choosing to be with me, but i'm sorry to say that i just want to be alone from now on. we just have too little left to build our future with. please don't hate me for ending it; if there's any space in your heart, fill it with joy, not hate. and when you next drop a tear, please let it be sweet with joy, and not bitter from hurt.

please take great care of yourself, and live a happy, meaningful life. always seek to do the right thing, and never compromise your principles for material promises. don't let the surrounding negativity mould you, no matter how tempting the rewards may seem - some things are just not worth it. always evaluate your options and accord the proper weightage to your priorities. ultimately, you should be in control of your own life. when things don't go your way, look not to point fingers, but instead, look for solutions and gain wisdom from the experience. don't build your happiness on the sorrow of others; seek to give happiness to others, and learn to derive happiness from giving.

in the bitter end, when my life flashes before me, i know i'll leave with a smile, knowing i once made you smile too. i'd better stop here; the tears are fogging my vision already. good night, take care, and good bye..

poker and porn

2008-11-16T14:10:00.002+08:00

acting on a whim, we went over to nd's suite for a poker party. in attendance were png, gb, chee, nd, jo, jlo, presto, bk, kw, and kw's cousin (sorry, didn't get your name..).

png did his usual thing - playing jap porn with volume on full-blast with nd's laptop and annoying the heck out of everyone. bk and kw were taking crude digs at each other. gb and chee made their customary late entrance. jo and presto came over after their mugging session. jlo joined us from dempsey really late and didn't stay too long - she went back with jo and presto halfway-through.

about poker, well, i made a great start by clearing out chee's chips in the first hand, but gradually went downhill from then on. 3 hours and a thousand dirty jokes later, the game ended for me - but not the fun. man utd completed a 5:0 rout over stoke, and arse-anal got whipped at home by villa - my idea of a great night.

i then received a reminder from my mum to be at my grandma's by lunch-time the following day for my grandpa's death anniversary, so i decided to call it a night and proceeded to plop myself beside gb, who was already snoring away on nd's super-comfy bed.

so here i am, blogging in amk. gonna sneak out for a cig now, while i reflect on a pleasing weekend thus far. enjoy. =)

queen - too much love will kill you

2008-11-14T00:28:00.000+08:00

so how's my new job?

2008-11-13T20:34:00.014+08:00

"so how's your new job?", he asked.
what do i think of my current job? not much at all, really.

i find myself waking up every morning to the intolerable drone of mediocrity, spending half the journey trying to figure out what to look forward to in the office and, upon revelation, the other half of the journey agonising in the expectance of the tedium waiting to asphyxiate every ounce of life in me. it's such a drag, but i guess you already know.

in a nutshell, my job is Mundane with a capital M - M for More-exciting-just-watching-grass-grow. instead of calling it a breeding ground or a stepping stone to greater heights, i'd much rather liken it to a barren wasteland, an infertile plot of desolation. the people there have the culture of robotic arms on a production line, and humour and laughter are as ubiquitous as shooting stars. the environment is sterile and inanimate. and i can't even begin to describe the overwhelming resentment during those ultra-long hours of unproductive overtime.

it might be that the status quo of the global market requires buckets of patience and knuckling-down in the short-term, but the mid- and long-term prospects aren't looking too bright either. the system is rigid, the workflow and processes are monotonous, and the testimonies of my senior colleagues share a commonality of discontentment about the scarcity of opportunities to learn, to improve, to upgrade, unanimously reciting the anti-thesis of career progression. doing what we do, there's simply neither job satisfaction nor sense of achievement.

inevitably, to make it worse, of course there will be gossip-mongers in the office, easily identifiable by the distinct silence that abruptly swallows their stream of whispers, murmurs, and tsk-tsk's whenever someone walks within earshot. of course, being the new guy, i get to experience the awkwardness of silencing these people, and it doesn't help much in terms of relationship-building when they have this habit of never looking away from their work during a conversation. i think it's disrespectful and annoying, especially when all they say is monosyllabic - it's either a "YA" or "NO" in a rude, impatient tone. it's having an erosive effect on my motivation to go to work, and recently, my punctuality, or should i say lack thereof, has been fueling the gossip-mongers' barrage on my threshold of tolerance. vicious cycle, yeah?

on my way home at the end of another fucked-up workday spent doing 3-4 hours of overtime, i look around and see other zombies like me - lifeless, depressed, and fucking tired from the day's battles. no wonder the entertainment business is so lucrative. it's no longer a luxury, it's a need to be entertained - to be able to chill out, to unwind, to discard the day's troubles, to empty all the trash in our recycle bins, to find a fountain of health to replenish vitality. recreation = re-creation.

i bitch and whine about my shitty job to everyone who cares to ask, but, putting things into perspective, although it's far from ideal, at least it puts bread on the table, and beer on the bar counter - and there's always the chance of finding a better job when the turmoil settles and the climate starts looking rosy again. i think i need to re-adopt the mind-over-matter mentality that was so jubilantly ditched on ORD day.

work-life balance - notice how work comes first in that phrase?

life's checklist

2008-11-10T21:51:00.004+08:00

i stare into the looking glass of destiny,
and see what the future holds for me..

..before 25:
-pay off all debts
-cultivate healthy habits
-improve image
-build reputation in market
-asia-tour

..before 28:
-degree
-financial independence
-sports bike

..before 30:
-masters
-start own business

..before 35:
-rapid career ascent
-euro-tour
-first million dollars
-my own apartment
-sports car

..before 45:
-financial freedom
-early retirement
-private yacht
-globe-trotting

hell, it's not going to be easy,
but it can't be too hard, either.

you may say that i'm a dreamer,
but i'm not the only one..

koolb - kate 林可棠

2008-11-10T20:46:00.003+08:00

my working life

2008-11-02T15:52:00.006+08:00

iworkanddrinkandworkanddrinkandworkanddrink
andworkanddrinkandworkanddrinkandworkanddrink
andworkanddrinkandworkanddrinkandworkanddrink
andworkanddrinkandworkanddrinkandworkanddrink
andworkanddrinkandworkanddrinkandworkanddrink
andworkanddrinkandworkanddrinkandworkanddrink
andworkanddrinkandworkanddrinkandworkanddrink
andworkanddrinkandworkanddrinkandworkanddrink
andworkanddrinkandworkanddrinkandworkanddrink
andworkanddrinkandworkanddrinkandworkanddrink
andworkanddrinkandworkanddrinkandworkanddrink
andworkanddrinkandworkanddrinkandworkanddrink
andworkanddrinkandworkanddrink. and work. and drink.

life sucks. what more can i say?

palmar hyperhidrosis

2008-10-27T22:39:00.021+08:00

according to my self-diagnosis, aided by extensive online research, i have a hyperactive sympathetic nervous system! this explains why i tend to blush easily and, of course, the main pain-in-the-arse symptom - sweaty palms and feet. it's not only when i experience emotional stimuli, or warm weather conditions. to summarise, i would say that i leak like a faulty tap - perpetually. oh, how i dread handshakes.. (but hey, the only good coming out of this condition is that i have an extremely high libido. haha! that's the best excuse to be horny all the time!)

well, i'm not really keen on this, but the cure for it is by undergoing outpatient surgery called endoscopic thoracic sympathectomy, and the average success rate is 98%, with rare cases of a side effect called compensatory sweating, which means that since you don't allow your palms to sweat that much, the sweat will just come out more in other parts of the body - feet, face, groin, armpits, body, etc. apparently, i'd have a 2% chance of that experience.

during the surgery, they would cut 2 holes at either sides of my chest, stick fibre optic cameras in through my ribs, along with some surgical instruments, then clamp down on (reversible), or cut away (irreversible), some nerve chains. sounds like fun. and i'm already sweating.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperhidrosis
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathetic_nervous_system
http://www.sweaty-palms.com/sweaty_palms.html
http://www.sweaty-palms.com/blushing.html

current mood:

assumption drawings

2008-10-27T20:42:00.001+08:00

hall of frame

2008-10-27T19:29:00.011+08:00

hey i received this sms from my cousin. everyone support if you can.

hey cousins! i'm doing a small sideline business with my friend selling movies, idols, sports and other posters. just setup our new website. feel free to view anytime and if you are interested in getting anything from there, just let me know. posters are all in a1 size, price lists are listed in the web. so please give me your support. thanks!

hall of frame url: http://www.hallofframe.blogspot.com

update: it didn't work out. my cousin took his money back after 2 months.

陈奕迅 - 夕阳无限好

2008-10-27T19:20:00.000+08:00

what a rough day

2008-10-27T18:07:00.014+08:00

on my way down to boat quay last night, while waiting for the mrt, scenes of the conversation i had earlier with jl kept running and re-running through my mind. i was rudely distracted from my thoughts when i witnessed a fight between 6-7 indian teens and what looked like 3 thai/cambodian/nepalese men. one of the indians was accusing the other party of staring at him; a heated argument ensued, and following that was one flared-up indian boy throwing punches and kicks at the innocuous- and bewildered-looking thai/camb/nep. it subsequently went on to become quite a noisy and messy scene.

the audacity and senselessness of it actually made my blood boil, and i wanted very much to start slamming a few of the perpetrators against the wall/floor/___(enter very hard and damaging surface here) - instead i just walked away and avoided being a part of the pandemonium. it was slightly amusing that they obviously didn't understand each other's taunts and curses, and it was more than a little bemusing to have encountered such a sad case of immaturity on a national holiday eve, when everyone was supposed to be enjoying their evening out.

you would think it couldn't be more dramatic that this, but when the train arrived, they actually brought the battle into the train, pushing and tussling their way through the carriage doors, inexorably inconveniencing and intimidating the other passengers - it was really frustrating to watch. thankfully, there was an mrt staff nearby who heroically ventured over in urgent strides and single-handedly dismantled the childish skirmishes with quite some authority and professionalism. he deserved some applause from all of us commuters but, being singaporeans, naturally there was no public demonstration of appreciation. fucked up but true.

as it turned out, unfortunately, that wasn't to be the last piece of violence i had to endure before the end of the night. after managing to guzzle down half a bottle of martell neat and lose his sobrierity in 20mins, mr ahl, who had recently experienced a painful breakup, decidedly left vogue to do some pub-hopping. fast-forward to next scene: ahl was in a very bloody mess, a violent rage, and a vicious vice-grip from a visibly flustered rg at the foot of the stairs leading up to the pub. after almost half an hour of anxious persuasion and appeasing from the rest of us, he was finally convinced to be led upstairs to clean up his wounds, and afterwhich, to our great relief, plonked face-first onto the sofa and started snoring away. what a night he's had. hmm. what a night i've had.

ict recall

2008-10-26T20:48:00.003+08:00

sgt desmond from camp vogue issued a recall order tonight. it seems we're going in for another round of ict - intensive consumption of toxins. i've been going down every night since thursday, and tonight will probably be the last time for a long while, but then again, this is the umpteenth time i've said that. last chance?

once i start working, i'll have to tighten the purse strings and set aside some emergency cash - emergency as in being late for work and having to take a cab down. don't smile. it happens to each and every one of us.

this evening, jl came over to return my belongings, and the entire situation was tense and awkward. i still have to retrieve my passport and atm card from her though, probably sometime next week. i hate the fact that i said those hurtful things to her, but i guess it's never easy cutting loose a long relationship. just let it go.

ecaps gnidnif

2008-10-26T17:02:00.018+08:00

no, it's not german or dutch. it's just 'finding space' in reverse. clever? poetic? anyway, i just want to say that sometimes friends act as your mirrors, giving you a retrospective glimpse of your past, through the ways they choose to remember you, or how certain things are associated with you, according to them. it's quite a funny thing when you find out about the "keywords" that people identify and remember you with.

take, for example, jo, who saves my mobile number, in her beautiful iphone3g, under the name 'ah`space'. haha! my gosh, that was over a decade ago. i fondly remember chatting from dusk till dawn on irc in #youngndangerous (smile, png.. =), playing pool at monstercue, smoking in school uniform, loitering in shopping centres and game arcades, infatuations, etc - the recollection is making me cringe from the nostalgia of all the foolish things i did during that phase of my life. youth is my crime, and i'm guilty as charged. haha. the sweet thing is, i'll bet she's the only person in the world who remembers me that way. thank you.

coming soon..

2008-10-25T15:27:00.016+08:00

ankle tattoo. man utd devil. photoshop. preview. incoherent. smile.

update: thanks for the feedback. i get the message - none of you like it.

u-turn

2008-10-24T20:50:00.011+08:00

you've taken a wrong turn and you're now on the wrong track, but you don't want to have to make a u-turn and admit that you made a mistake. you just want to keep going on and naively hope you'll eventually still get to your dream destination, cruising along with the error and trying to make the best out of a bad situation. along the way, you see a lot of unpleasant incidents that wear out your hopes and confidence, but you blindly persist and trust your flawed judgement, simply disregarding the clear and present reality and the increasing gravity of the situation that you're allowing to spiral out of control, until gradually and painfully, you no longer see the mirage of hope peering out over the horizon, and soon realise your fuel tank is empty and you have no choice but to step out of the vehicle and begin to retrace your steps back to where you came from. as you turn your weary body around to glance back, you see that the returning road is the same cruel, gruelling one that got you here in the first place. it won't be easy, but at least it's in the right direction.

can you say F-A-T-I-G-U-E?

2008-10-24T19:03:00.020+08:00

yesterday was a real drainer. here's how it went, chronologically:

- woke up early to catch previous night's champions league highlights
- signed employment contract at centennial tower
- briefed by hr for 1 hour on staff benefits and company culture
- opened staff payroll account at raffles link
- listened to 1 hour preaching on investment plans
- met neo for 30min brunch at subway marina square
- took a 30min walk to raffles place
- underwent 3 hours of medical checkup
- travelled for 1 hour for copy of lost 'o' levels cert at buona vista
- hunted with jo for 5 hours for ig's birthday gift at amk hub
- returned home to wash up and unwind for 1 hour
- rushed down to join bk and png for drinks at boat quay
- finally arrived back home after 5 hours for overdue rest

while i was asleep, my mum tried to wake me up and ask if i wanted to join the family on a last-minute cruise-to-nowhere they were planning to attend tonight, and i simply rejected the idea in my semi-conscious stupor - in retrospect, maybe i should have taken some time to actually consider it. well, they've gone ahead with the plan, and now i'm left all alone at home for the rest of this long weekend, after which would be my first day at my first job. "congrats! you're a part of the rat race now!"

sigh. yawn. double-sigh. hmm? hey, look! at least they left me some bread talk buns! bread? talk? oh, maybe the hotdog buns will start chatting with me if i try hard enough to speak their language. or not. triple-yawn.

current mood:

just for laughs - death

2008-10-21T22:29:00.000+08:00

my sis is a star!

2008-10-21T21:55:00.006+08:00

she looks really good in the clip. what can i say - it's in the genes! =)

hangover

2008-10-21T20:38:00.010+08:00

i woke up really late and missed my driving lesson. i'm also very badly hung over. on the up-side, citibank called to offer me a job, which i accepted without hesitation, and i should expect another call from them tomorrow with regards to the salary. at the moment, i'm not really too concerned with how much they're prepared to pay me, just feeling a tinge of glee and a truckload of relief. like my dad said, now's the time to "ride a cow to find a horse". i'll just have to ride this cow as far as it can bring me.

good luck to the reds, who entertain rivals celtic at the theatre of dreams later tonight. my prediction: 3:0 - and if i get it wrong, i'll just come back and alter this post. =)

update: haha! i didn't even need to cheat! it turned out exactly as i predicted, thanks to berbatov and rooney! glory, glory man united!

current mood:

special car for the special one

2008-10-20T17:57:00.006+08:00

during his time at chelsea, before being sacked unceremoniously for over-achieving, jose mourinho had tapped on roman abramovich's distinguished list of contacts in an attempt to source for a stylish sports car in which he could travel with his family.

in may this year, as a show of grace and no-hard-feelings, the russian billionaire duly obliged by gifting him this £2 million limited edition ferrari 612 scaglietti, inscribed with the famous words 'the special one'. it is the only four-seater car produced by the italian superbrand, and was initially priced at £250,000 during its launch, before news that there would only be 60 in the world leaked and resulted in the value of the car sky-rocketing - truly a special car for the special one.

心事

2008-10-20T02:30:00.002+08:00

一曲肝肠断，天涯何处觅知音..

bob marley - no, woman, no cry

2008-10-20T00:49:00.002+08:00

everyday sunday

2008-10-19T12:06:00.011+08:00

good morning! i'm getting ready to go over to my granny's place to celebrate rny's birthday. wli and co bought him a ps3, and i'm quite eager to see the look on the science king's face when he unwraps his gift!

i didn't get much sleep last night, but i'm still in a good mood, because man utd won again! 4:0 over wba! back into the top four, and back on track to defend our crown! the best thing is, both roon and ron got on the scoresheet! i feel kind of sad for tevez - after all those point-saving/match-winning goals he got for us last season, he's now warming the bench and can't even get a proper contract sorted out. oh well. that's sacrificing for the greater good. and berbatov is starting to look like he might justify his mammoth price tag. he'd better do so!

the poly gang are meeting up for coffee at 4pm, then we're having pasta at creations for dinner. lt and jon will be arriving in the evening, after they knock off work, and i'm expecting jl to join us before 7pm. she went to a company chalet last night and only got home around 3am. the party animal must be so exhausted. i hope she won't feel touchy later on.

anyway, i'm off to amk in jeans and my new everlast canvas shoes!

current mood:

asics onitsuka tiger mexico '66

2008-10-19T00:29:00.002+08:00

all the world's a stage

2008-10-18T20:36:00.008+08:00

a few days back (or was it just yesterday? i'm gradually losing concept of time), wli and i explored arab street on xy's recommendation. after miles of probing and buckets of perspiration, we finally managed to locate the lane lined with stores that purportedly had some nice and interesting clothes. to our dismay, xy didn't warn us that they catered mostly to females, so we left empty-handed and disappointed. jl would have loved to come here though. the stores look like her cup of tea, very similar to the boutiques at far east plaza that she'd always drag me into. (baby, i'm not complaining.. i just wish they'd have sofas for bored boyfriends.)

over coffee, wli and i concluded that character-driven movies are by far more engaging than plot-driven ones, and he also wishes to expand his list of good movies seen. i haven't actually caught too many films myself, but just to share, here are some of my favourites:

the exorcist
stephen king's it
meet joe black
lord of the rings series
rise of the footsoldier
goodfellas
pirates of the caribbean series
silence of the lambs
top gun
interview with the vampire
the langoliers
the green mile
se7en
forrest gump
pan's labyrinth
transformers
a few good men
wasabi
breakfast at tiffany's
stardust
the devil wears prada
giant
pretty woman
my best friend's wedding
serendipity
the devil's advocate
trainspotting
philadelphia
yamakasi
edward scissorhands
james bond series
a beautiful mind
big fish
taxi driver
rocky series
bonnie and clyde
sleepers
godfather series

i should also include my favourite stephen chow and chow yun-fatt films, the timeless classics that are hayao miyazaki animes, as well as the young and dangerous series, but there are just too many to name one by one.. anyhow, here's a list of movies i think i should catch:

~~the shawshank redemption~~
the bucket list
~~schindler's list~~
pulp fiction
~~fight club~~
citizen kane
~~saving private ryan~~
~~brokeback mountain~~
monster
sleepless in seattle
~~city of god~~

got any more to recommend?

river island shorts

2008-10-17T14:22:00.007+08:00

my wonderful auntie pam bought me this pair of cargo shorts from river island when we went shopping at vivo the other day. i simply love it! i've been wearing it everywhere for 3 days straight, even in my sleep! haha!
to my dear auntie pam, here's a big, public, sincere THANK YOU!

current mood:

roach wars

2008-10-17T13:19:00.007+08:00

living on the first level, the one day i dread most is when the fumigation people come around and fog the refuse dumps. it triggers off this chaotic chain of events - the frenzied swarm of cockroaches squeeze their way into my house through every seam imaginable; we arm ourselves with brooms and slippers, ready to squash every creepy-crawly in sight; i get to use the water hose and be responsible for gunning down all the roaches scurrying along the walls and ceilings - and it's no fun at all.

before it happens, you think you're safe from the invasion with adequate preparations, but you end up staring aghast at the sight of those bloody insects squirming their way under the scotch tape, through the gaps of the window corners and under the front door.

initially, they just trickle in, a few at a time, but before you realise how they do it, they storm in by the dozens, wave after wave of glossy dark-brown aliens with hairy feet and probing antennaes. you wanna shout out "FUCK!" at the top of your voice, but on second thought, wisen up to the very real possibility of them free-falling from the ceiling and down into your throat. this bottled angst sparks a rage and the killing spree begins, marking the start of a very tense and jumpy afternoon.

by the time the squishing and splatting is done, the kitchen area looks like a ravaged war-zone - bottles, cans, plastic bags, all strewn around the nauseating mounds of mutilated, flattened bug remains - i won't even begin to describe the horrendous yellowish bug juice that's squirted onto the floor, and sometimes our toes, when the innards and brains pop out. ugh.. yucks.. the words "overkill" and "massacre" come to mind.

we're done with the cleaning up, and now i'm gonna take a long, hot shower to rid myself of the bloody goosebumps. i'm just blogging while puffing on a rewarding cigarette and waiting for the heater.

later tonight, we're off to COCA at TAKA for seafood steamboat buffet. hungry after digesting this post? bon appétit! =)

weapons of choice

2008-10-10T13:40:00.007+08:00

ever visualised verbal abuse as actual weapons instead of mere syllables?
here are examples of different forms of weapons that might be transformed from a person's spiteful remarks or vulgar insults, based on the way they wield their words.

me:
my style would probably be alluded to the rapier - a cold, relentless blade, deceptively hidden in its sheath, patiently awaiting the opportune moment to impale with one lethal thrust.

png:
png's form of verbal abuse would be likened to the formidable nanchaku - a pummel of blunt, disorienting attacks, often allied with confounding spins and twirls, and always aiming to deliver stunning and silencing strikes.

bk:
for him, the ideal weapon would be the whip - a tirade of stinging lashes intent on separating flesh from bone, seemingly looking to maim and torture, and a propensity to constrict with a deadly strangle to finish things off.

what is your weapon of choice?

takuya kimura - hajimete no chuu

2008-10-08T18:53:00.004+08:00

my very own emoticons!

2008-10-08T18:14:00.020+08:00

from left to right, we've got:
happy, smirk, surprise, hmm, fear, and sad!

you must think i'm fucking bored out of my mind.
you know, you are fucking right. spot-on.

anyway, i went for driving lessons at noon, then came back to jog. nothing heavy or intense, but i'm determined to get back into ideal shape, and i think i made a good start today. i have an urge to do a few more laps before turning in tonight, but i think i'll conserve my energy for tomorrow's session instead.
"damn mirror, you're not gonna scare me anymore!"

current mood:

yutaka ozaki - i love you

2008-10-08T12:00:00.001+08:00

reptile in motion

2008-10-07T17:56:00.026+08:00

last night, my dinner had some disagreement with my stomach, so i went into the toilet looking to resolve that particularly discomforting conflict. while closing the toilet door, i startled a lizard/gecko/whatever-fuck-you-wanna-call-it. the bloody thing panicked and promptly zoomed up the toilet wall, but its escape was quite literally at break-neck speed, and when it hit the ceiling, it sort of bounced off and fell all the way back down to the floor, spiralling in a dramatic slow-motion fashion.

my natural reaction was to execute an evasive half-leap/half-sidestep as the rubbery, pale-green reptile barely missed me and landed in close proximity to my foot with a muted thud, before taking great effort to crawl anxiously along the floor towards the nearest wall. then it stopped short of the corner where floor meets wall, and just lay there motionless. after a long while, i began to think that it was probably dead from the fall, and just wanted to flush it out of sight so i could get on with my business, so i grabbed the shower hose and sprayed. after a few torrents, it abruptly awoke from its state of shock and escaped out the gap under the door at lightning pace.

the mood was, by now, a little awkward and surreal, so i settled my nerves with a cigarette while calm and order was gradually restored. the conditions finally became more conducive, i was relieved enough to relieve myself, and thus the motion was passed without further incident.

the assumption song

2008-10-07T15:53:00.016+08:00

for all of you out there who have a habit of assuming things before they happen, this is gonna make you blush with embarrassment.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/460854
(click 'watch this movie' then find the flash button that says 'fuck')

kudos to png for his amusing discovery, and cheers to sober october!

2nd citi interview

2008-10-07T12:45:00.014+08:00

earlier this morning, i had to go for a ~~redundant~~ 2nd interview with citibank. apparently, the 1st interview i had with them was conducted by the number 2 in the department, and now the number 1 wanted to have a look at me for herself. so i got up early, squeezed with the other sardines commuting in the can, perspired profusely under the formal office wear, and arrived at the place 10mins early, all flush and flustered.

after a short conversation with the hr staff, she led me to the office where i met the head of the department that was looking to hiring me. the meeting with number 1 lasted barely 6mins, as she quickly went through the job scope and expectations of the post. the briefness of the whole encounter got me worried. i couldn't resist asking her, rather candidly, how likely i was to land the job, and she revealed that my chances were quite high, although she would have to review a few other candidates before she could reach her final decision. how political.

all in all, i thought it was a major waste of time and effort, having been disappointed by such a hopelessly short and inconclusive meeting. at the end of it, i was advised to wait for another 2 weeks, on top of the 4 weeks of edginess i had already gone through since the 1st interview. right now, i'm feeling rather discouraged by all the uncertainties presented before me, but what can i do? just wait and see lor.. =|

sophie zelmani - going home

2008-10-06T11:11:00.013+08:00

iphone 3g

2008-10-04T14:56:00.004+08:00

well, the singtel plan expired months ago, and my w880i is turning faulty. it heats up really quickly after a few minutes on the line, and it can't read memory cards anymore, which takes the 'w' out of w880i, since the phone memory is insufficient for my music library, not to mention limited space for photos and videos. i thought i'd replace it with the iphone 3g for christmas.(~~dad~~ santa, are you reading this?)

iphone 3g

pros:
exciting aesthetics
simplistic usability
crystal-clear voice calls
blistering connections
huge display screen
no calculator-like keyboard
competitive pricing

cons:
short battery life
no video calls
grainy camera quality
barely-audible speakers
incompatible with other brands

hmm.. is it really worth the hype?