business management lessons

after spending slightly more than 2 months in a bank, i've decided that the prospect of building my career in the banking industry simply does not appeal to me. at all. in fact, i've decided to change my mind with regards to my academic pursuits - from the intially-planned b.sc. in banking & finance, to a b.sc. in business.

in more ways than i ever cared to consider prior to joining citi, choosing the latter as my next course of studies should align my educational path with my main career objective of running my own business, so it really does make more sense than me having to study banking & finance, especially when i don't see myself working for much longer in the industry.

having said that, though, i've always felt that being a businessman takes a lot more than just paper qualifications and theoretical knowledge, both of which are impertinent to running a business in the real world - or so i've heard from the handful of entrepreneurs i've come across. what you really need is vision, resilience, and really good networking skills. or lots and lots of money. preferably all of the above.

just for fun, i've included these 3 lessons for those of you carrying on the climb up the corporate ladder. enjoy! =P


lesson #1

a crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
a small rabbit noticed the crow and asked, "can i sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
the crow answered, "sure, why not."

so the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested.
all of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

moral of the story:
to be sitting around and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


lesson #2

a turkey was chatting with a bull. "i would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but i haven't got the energy."

"well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull, "they're packed with nutrients."

the turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. the next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. finally, after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

soon, though, the turkey was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

moral of the story:
bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


lesson #3

when the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be the boss.

the brain said, "i should be the boss because i control all of the body's responses and functions."

the feet said, "we should be the boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

the hands said, "we should be the boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

this went on with the heart, lungs and all the other body parts voicing out their reasons for being the boss.

finally, the asshole spoke up. all the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the boss. in protest, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered.

eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the boss, so the motion was passed. all the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat around and passed out the shit!

moral of the story:
you don't need brains to be a boss - any asshole will do.