reptile in motion

last night, my dinner had some disagreement with my stomach, so i went into the toilet looking to resolve that particularly discomforting conflict. while closing the toilet door, i startled a lizard/gecko/whatever-fuck-you-wanna-call-it. the bloody thing panicked and promptly zoomed up the toilet wall, but its escape was quite literally at break-neck speed, and when it hit the ceiling, it sort of bounced off and fell all the way back down to the floor, spiralling in a dramatic slow-motion fashion.

my natural reaction was to execute an evasive half-leap/half-sidestep as the rubbery, pale-green reptile barely missed me and landed in close proximity to my foot with a muted thud, before taking great effort to crawl anxiously along the floor towards the nearest wall. then it stopped short of the corner where floor meets wall, and just lay there motionless. after a long while, i began to think that it was probably dead from the fall, and just wanted to flush it out of sight so i could get on with my business, so i grabbed the shower hose and sprayed. after a few torrents, it abruptly awoke from its state of shock and escaped out the gap under the door at lightning pace.

the mood was, by now, a little awkward and surreal, so i settled my nerves with a cigarette while calm and order was gradually restored. the conditions finally became more conducive, i was relieved enough to relieve myself, and thus the motion was passed without further incident.